Fancy seeing you here you nosey so and so
At this point, you might be thinking;
“I like the sound of this Terry fella, but what if I pay for a website and he runs away to Mexico with my dosh?”.
Well, fear not my friend, because I am already in Mexico and I never was much of a runner. I have little legs.
I hail from Farnborough, Hampshire
If you’ve never been to Farnborough, then take a moment to picture a place like no other. Imagine white sand beaches, turquoise blue seas and perfect weather.
Well, Farnborough is nothing like that.
It does, however, have a world famous bi-yearly air show, two McDonalds and a creepy Abbey filled with priests that shoot trespassers with BB guns. It was also filled with me. You may have seen me around, making your food at Burger King, delivering pizzas to your house or your mail or maybe pouring you beers at The Tumbledown Dick.
Yeah, I’m THAT guy
So, why Mexico?
I used to have a ‘proper’ job as an Ecommerce Manager / Web Designer in Farnborough. I would build life-changing websites and get paid just enough to live while my boss travelled the world. Then one day as I stood in ASDA Farnborough, mulling over whether I could afford McVities digestives over ASDA own brand, I thought “I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE”.
So the next day, I handed my notice in and carried on making awesome websites to fund my travels around the world. Mexico has white sands, donkeys, great weather and just happens to be quite a large place to explore, so its home for the meantime. Sadly, though, as yet, I haven’t found any McVities digestives.
About the Baldness, am I really old then?
Nope, I’m just really, really aerodynamic and only in my 30’s. I went to bed one night with a full head of hair and woke up the next day looking like a Hawaiian Monk Seal. Since then I’ve saved an average of 2.5 days a year on hair styling and swim like a knife cutting through butter. Of course, I did miss my luxurious locks for a time, but then I just grew a badass beard instead. So it’s all worked out for the best.
As it happens, I also own a clothing label for bald men, providing humorous garments and gifts for the generously foreheaded. The only issue is that I am now conflicted as to whether or not I actually want science to find a cure for baldness, as it could harm my sales.
Concerned about hiring someone that lives 5225 miles away from Hampshire?
Don’t be. I am only ever an email or Skype call away at a time that suits you*. Also, think about it; who is gonna be better, the web designer that sits in a studio counting down till 5 pm on a Friday, or the web designer that works for himself in a place he considers paradise?
Besides, you wouldn’t want me in your office anyway; I have terrible taste in ties and my head reflects far too much light.
*Okay, not whenever suits you. If you call at 4am my time, any work costs £5,000 as a minimum.